It’s Game of Thrones week, and Season 7 premiere’s this Sunday. We had been doing these recaps as podcasts, but with our busy schedules this week, we will recap the back half of season 4 and then season 5 as posts. I know this won’t be as good as the podcast, but I will try my best to deliver.
Episode 6- “The Laws of Gods and Men”
The episode starts with Stannis and Davos in Essos trying to get the Iron Bank to side with Stannis. At first, it is going pretty terrible because Stannis really isn’t the talking type; he is the guy that will convince you with his sword. As they are getting rejected left and right from this Iron Bank prick, Davos tries one more time. This time it goes a lot better because Davos is a talker and gets them to back Stannis. After that Davos then secures his pirate friends to join the cause again, which means Salladhor Saan gets his chance to fuck the Queen again.
Yara leads a rescue party to get her brother Theon from that psycho Ramsey. She is successful in getting to Theon, but when she tries to rescue him, he freaks out and is yelling shit and generally just freaking everyone out. Right then and there Yara knows her brother is gone, and can’t be saved. Ramsey rewards Reek (Theon) for his loyalty. His reward is to become Theon again to help him take Moat Cailin back from the Greyjoys.
Daenerys just took Meereen and gets her first chance to be a ruler of a city. She gets her first taste of how much work and how difficult it is. Her first order was too crucify the masters just like they did to the slave children in episode 5. In this episode, she listens to requests from the people of Meereen and it’s like 900 people, so she will need a bottle of wine after. The first one we see is a nobleman named Hizdahr zo Loraq. He begs Daenerys to take his father’s dead body down from the crucifix so he can get a proper burial. At first, Daenerys doesn’t want to hear it and reminds him what the masters did to the slave children. Hizdahr zo Loraq explains that his father actually was opposed to that idea, and not every master was the same. In the end, she accepts to take the body down. The next person that comes in comes with the bones of his goats that were burnt by Daenerys’ dragons. This brings up a problem that she has been having trying to tame her babies. It becomes a bigger problem a little later as well.
The big part of this episode is the trial of Tyrion for the death of King Joffrey. The witnesses were naturally all against Tyrion, as his sister obviously got to them first. They are all painting an ugly picture of Tyrion, but the body blows of this trail were two witnesses that you didn’t expect to turn on Tyrion. Varys and Shae are the two that really hurt Tyrion’s already dwindling chances. You can see that Shae is lying from the get go and Tyrion snaps after her testimony. He makes this big speech and then demands a combat by trial!!!!!
Episode 7- “Mockingbird”
So Tyrion demands a combat by trial, so of course Cersei chooses the Mountain to be her champion. Once that happens, people are like fuck that I’m out! Tyrion asks Jamie and Bronn, but they both decline. It makes sense for Jamie because even with two good hands he would struggle to beat the Mountain. Bronn gets paid off by Cersei with a hell of an offer that he can’t decline, remember he is a sell sword and goes to the highest bidder. Tyrion then jokes that he himself should fight the Mountain, but then a savior comes in. Oberyn will be Tyrion’s champion, because he wants to kill the Mountain. The Mountain was the one that raped and killed Oberyn’s sister Elia and her kids. If you remember Oberyn came to King Landing for two reasons; 1. Kill the Mountain 2. Kill Lannisters.
Word around town is that Yunkai has been taken over yet again by the slavers. When word reaches Daenerys she sends Daario to clean up the mess. That was of course after they banged, so they have to clean up two messes.
Brienne and Podrick stop an inn during their travels. Of course, it is the same inn every character seems to stop at, and the two actually meet Hot Pie. Eventually, Arya’s name comes up and that really gets their attention since they are looking for her. After the meal, Brienne and Pod decide to go to the Vale, where Arya and Sansa’ aunt, Lysa Arryn, lives.
Then we go to the Vale and shit gets weird. Littlefinger marries Lysa to make this marriage official. Then Littlefinger makes a move on Sansa and kisses her, only for Lysa too see it and become furious. She confronts Sansa about it, and is threating to push her out the moon door. As she is yelling at Sansa, Littlefinger comes in and stops all the fuss. He then ends up shoving Lysa through the moon door making himself the new Lord of the Vale, not bad for a brothel house owner.
Episode 8- “The Mountain and the Viper”
After getting Moat Cailin back from the Greyjoys, Roose Bolton legitimizes Ramsey as a true Bolton and not his bastard. It’s a pretty big moment for Ramsey, because as of now if his father died Ramsey would become Warden of the North, and Lord of Winterfell.
In the Vale, there is a small council investigating the death of Lysa, and Sansa was the only witness with Littlefinger. Sansa goes along with Littlefinger’s story that Lysa was a sad person and took her own life. This is where we see the first time Sansa making power moves. At the same time that is happens the Hound and Ayra get to the Vale, and they are informed lady Lysa is dead. Ayra absolutely losses it in laughter because the Hound still can’t get paid. This is the second time this has failed and now it seems he is just stuck with Ayra, but his new plan is to go to the Wall where Jon Snow is.
The trial by combat begins in Kings Landing, and it’s all Oberyn from the start. The Viper is a lot quicker and precise with his strikes, and the Mountain looks to be in real trouble. When Oberyn finally strikes the Mountain down he starts to yell at the Mountain to confess that he raped and killed his sister and her kids. He tells the Mountain he will not kill him until he confesses. Oberyn keeps yelling it and then all of a sudden the Mountain grabs Oberyn lifts him up with one hand, hits him and then gets on top and crushes his skull with his hands. While crushing his skull the Mountain confesses that he raped and killed his sister and her kids. And this is where I almost gave up on Game of Thornes, don’t worry I didn’t.
To end this episode Sir Barristan Selmy gets a letter indicating that Jorah was working with King Robert to spy on Daenerys, and was granted a full pardon in helping to kill her. Obviously this is heartbreaking news when Daenerys and Jorah tells her that she loves her, but she is having none of it and exiles Jorah from Meereen.
Episode 9- “The Watchers on the Wall”
The biggest fire the North has ever seen has been lit, and the Wildlings attack Castle Black from both sides of the Wall. Tormund leads his army from the South, and the battle begins. On the other side the wildlings have a few giants try and pry the gates open from the Northern side. When Alliser Thorne hears about the attack on the Southside he springs into action, but leaves Janos Slynt in charge on top of the wall. Almost immediately Janos bitches out and goes down to hide during the war. As the battle continues it’s getting bad at Castle Black, and Jon is summoned down to help. As he is heading down with Sam, Jon tells Sam to go get Ghost. Ghost is let free and just goes wild on these wildlings. Jon kills Styr the leading Thenn (God I hate Thenn’s). After killing Styr, Jon is faced by Ygritte who has her bow ready to rock. Jon smiles at her but before anything else; Ygritte is killed by an arrow shot by lil ole Olly. Jon runs to her and grabs her in his arms wishing they could go back to that cave. In the end, the Night’s Watch has won this battle and arrested Tormund. Jon knows this is only the beginning and sets out beyond to the wall to find and kill Mance Rayder to put an end to all of this.
Episode 10- “The Children”
Jon gets to Mance’s hut and as they are talking they are interrupted by Stannis’ army coming to aid the Night’s Watch. Mance can do nothing but surrender as he and his army is surrounded.
Bran and co. finally get to the large heart tree where the three eyed raven is, but are greeted not so kindly. While walking to the tree, skeletal beasts come out of the ground and start to attack them. Bran wargs into Hodor to help them survive the fight, but Jojen is killed by a wight. They are saved by a child that throws these magic flame ball things (best description I could do.), and she takes them to see the three eyed raven.
While Brienne and Pod on traveling, they come across Ayra and the Hound. Brienne tries to beg Ayra to come with her, but Ayra doesn’t trust her and the Hound tries to protect her. Brienne and the Hound have pretty awesome battle that ends up with Brienne shoving the Hound of a cliff. Ayra finds him and he is badly hurt, and has a chicken bone coming out of his leg. He knows he is going to die but with that injury it will be slow and painful, so he begs Ayra to kill him. Ayra just walks away because she wants him to suffer. Ayra then finds the nearest boat and starts her journey to Braavos to train under Jaqen H’ghar.
After the battle with the Viper, the Mountain looks cooked but Cersei demands that Qyburn save the Mountain anyway possible.
Jamie frees Tyrion before he can be executed, but instead of escaping right away he has other plans. He heads to his fathers quarters to confront him. Tyrion finds Shae in his fathers bed and end up choking her out, which was long over due if you ask me. Then while his Dad is on the shitter he kills him too, and then flees the city with Varys.
Daenerys gets another visitor from a person complaining about her dragons, but instead of goats this time a small child was killed by Drogon. To respond to that she has to chain her two other dragons up because she just cant control them at this point. It was a heartbreaking moment to watch but it had to be done.
That does it for season 4, and next up will be season 5 which is another doozy of a season. I hope you enjoyed this recap, I know its not as good as a podcast but it will have to do.